I won't lie- being a mom is hard. These past two weeks have been especially challenging. Well, really, these past 6 months. We were so thrilled to have Ellie (and still are, don't get me wrong!) but she is just so...hard. Something is always wrong with her and I feel like I'm constantly walking on egg shells. Heck, I don't even have her cries figured out yet! In the 6 months she's been here, I can remember one full week where she was happy and nothing was wrong. When she's happy, she's sooo happy. But when she's flaring, not eating, can't poop, etc., she's just a total crab. And I can't blame her- at all- but it doesn't make it easier to listen to the crying. She's also started separation anxiety, which Emme never had (until she was 2.5; weird kid) so that's hard also. She's very attached to her Daddy. I can see why! He's awesome! And just when I think I have things under control *BAM* something happens to throw me all off course again.

You see (and most of you know), I'm a control freak (I come by it honestly). It's a terrible thing. It really is. I have a plan, a schedule, a rhyme to the reason. When it goes array (doesn't that sound like you're saying 'away' with a speech impediment?), I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle the stress other than to get overwhelmed. I don't know how to just let things go. I can't relax in a messy house, but at the same time, know I need to get over it and used to it with having small kids. I don't want them to grow up and remember all I did was clean and never have fun but I don't want them to not take pride in their things. How the heck do you find a balance? Too bad I wasn't wired with the who-gives-a-crap mentality. Oh well...

But then you have funny conversations like this and get barfed on and think, "Oh, it's not really that bad after all.". At least I'm blessed with a family to even complain about and stress over. They're the best and they're my life.

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Me: Emme, I'm gonna go potty. Stay in your chair and eat your pudding.

Emme: YAY! Mommy, you did it! You peepee'd in big potty! I so proud you! Mommy, you push your peepee out by yo'self! Hooorrrayyyy!
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Emme: Mommy, talk.

Me: Talk or be quiet? (She was reading a book.)

Emme: No, talk.

Me: What do you want me to say?

Emme: Ummm...see...? (She had her finger on her mouth and looked puzzled.) Princess things!

Me: Like what?

Emme: Ummm...Santa.